When I reflect back to my 1st retreat, I’m always so amazed to realize just how much the Lord has used these opportunities to help transform me on so many levels since I took that initial leap of faith & answered the call to attend. Where once stood this super shy, socially awkward introvert that wouldn’t have dreamt of going to anything like this (because it was WAY out of my comfort zone), now stands someone excited & ready to take on new challenges, who’s a little less afraid to talk to someone new & even counts the days until the next retreat. I can personally attest to & cannot emphasize enough how much personal & spiritual growth & healing I’ve had as a result of these retreats; and the fruits reach far beyond breaking me out of my shy little bubble.

Something that most people don’t really know about me, is that I never used to be this overly quiet & reserved person who’s anxiety levels would rocket at the mere thought of being in a room full of people. Once upon a time, I actually thrived in that exact kind of environment. I was captain of my debate class, & leadership roles came as naturally to me as breathing. I was outgoing & bubbly to a fault, & I wouldn’t have thought twice about walking up to someone new to strike up a conversation. I was the type that if teachers noticed me roaming the halls, they would pull me into their classroom to help demonstrate a lesson plan- and being up in front of peers like that, was when I was really in my element.

But, life not always being made of sunshine & rainbows, the storms of life set in. Things happened. Bad decisions were made. Trust was broken. Deep, invisible, non-healing wounds formed & posed as a constant reminder of a suffering I didn’t quite understand. Not having any kind of relationship with God at the time & not knowing how to navigate the treacherous waters I suddenly found myself submerged in, things went from bad to worse, & that vicious cycle trickled into my adult life until I was unrecognizable, even to myself. I became a numb, hollow shell to the once vibrant, full-of-life person I had been. I spent years feeling like I was always swimming against an unrelenting tide & through a constant whirlwind of negative emotions that had me drowning in my own, self-induced personal sea of darkness. And the idea of people knowing how hurt, lost & alone I felt, terrified me even more than the suffocating emptiness that greeted me each day. I became so absorbed in that fear, that I began to build an invisible barrier as a weak attempt to mask my flaws & insecurities. And before I knew it, I completely isolated myself from everyone & everything. Avoidance had become my new normal & I was a far-cry from the energetic, extrovert I used to be.

Just an example of how far adrift I had become, if you fast-forward to a few years ago when I joined RCIA in the fall of 2013: I remember getting so excited about different topics of discussion, that I would subconsciously start responding. But, like every perfectly placed delayed reaction, it took me a moment to process that I was actually speaking in front of people & almost instantly, mid-conversation, I would start stumbling on my words to the point I couldn’t complete a coherent sentence. I would get so frustrated because I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t will myself to actually form the words. After some awkward attempts & nothing but inconsistent babble leaving my mouth, I would eventually just sigh, look down & give up. I would stop talking without even trying to finish. This is what I had become. And this was how many conversations went for me, & why I did my best to avoid talking to people.

Fast-forward again to the retreat last September, & that’s when things really started to turn back around for me. I had a really powerful experience during Friday night’s adoration & for the 1st time in a long time, I felt something ignite from deep within. Some key topics of the weekend were on prayer & discernment, which I took into Saturday evening’s adoration & left with a heavy sense that I needed to volunteer & get more involved in events within the Church. This idea absolutely terrified me. As ashamed as I am to admit, instead of having faith in His plan, I instantly started a mental check-list of all the reasons why there was no way I could do something like that: I can’t even talk to people! How am I supposed to be more involved!? Does He really know who I am, who He’s asking this of !? Well, much to my surprise, shortly after returning home from this retreat, I was talking to Adam via messenger about what another great weekend it was, etc. Before I know it (without even bringing it up), he casually mentions to not be surprised if I’m invited to be on the committee for the next one. Well, at this point, fears aside, with discernment confirmation at hand, it’s hard to deny the direction I’m supposed to take. So, here I am, getting ready to help on another retreat & the rest is history.

It’s no exaggeration when I say what a blessing these retreats have been in my life! Since helping on my first retreat this past February, & as much as I didn’t understand what it could mean for me at the time, I am so grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given to get more involved! I know I have a long ways to go, but with each retreat & prayer service I’ve been to/helped on, little-by-little, the broken pieces I’ve kept closed off & hidden away are falling back into place, & the spark I never thought I would see again is slowly coming back to life… all as a direct result of going out of my comfort zone & taking the time to say yes to His call!

Living in such a crazy, busy world that offers so many distractions, it’s imperative we take the initiative to carve time out of our busy schedules to spend some quality one-on-one time with the Lord, to give Him thanks & just be in His presence. What better way to do that, than through a ready-made weekend dedicated to the Lord with fellow parishioners, where all you have to do is show up with an open heart? As we listen to personal, moving, relatable testimonies & have deep, meaningful conversations that take us from crying one moment, to laughing & having fun the next… it’s no wonder the friendships made at these retreats go beyond strengthening community bonds & creates more of a sense of family.

I can say with confidence & without a doubt, that I wouldn’t be where I am today & have experienced this much growth & healing if it weren’t for these retreats! If you’ve ever felt the call to attend, create the time, take that leap & come join us on the next one! You never know what the Lord has in store for you & you may not even understand why until down the road, but I do know you won’t be disappointed!

God Bless!
Stephanie Kirvan

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Everybody’s got something to say about the homily. (We’re Catholics, of course we do). From a Protestant perspective, a pretty common complaint about the Catholic Mass is that the priest doesn’t delve deep enough into the readings. I’ve attended some pretty awesome non-denominational services where the pastor went deep into the history of a scripture passage, showing maps of Paul’s journeys or detailing the events leading up to a situation. Basically, this was giving a context for scripture, one where listeners could understand how a chapter fit into the context of history.

The Catholic Church also works to provide a context, but in a different way. I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a young adult liturgy conference at the Liturgical Institute in Mundelein this past June, and the talks there unlocked the Mass for me in a new way. You’ve probably heard that the readings on a given weekend are supposed to connect somehow. This is true. However, the order of readings in the liturgy does something more than that. It gives us an interpretive key through which to contextualize scripture.

Take the readings from this weekend for example. In the first reading, Elijah is so wearied by his experiences that he prays for death. He is awakened from sleep by an angel who orders him to take a hearth cake and some water. This strengthens Elijah, and he continues on his journey.

What do we leave this reading thinking about? I would say three main things: weariness, bread, and renewed strength. The psalm that follows the first reading keeps us thinking about bread with “Taste and see the goodness of the Lord.”

Then the Gospel follows. In this passage, Jesus says “Your ancestors ate manna in the desert but they died; this is the bread that comes down from heaven so that one may eat it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven.” The incredible thing is that the liturgy is structured in such a way that implicitly, we are likely already thinking ahead to the Eucharist during the first reading as we hear about bread renewing Elijah. But we know that the bread Elijah ate wasn’t enough to keep him going indefinitely. That reading sets us up to know that humans need something more to renew them, to give them life that never dies. The Gospel reveals Jesus as that something more: His body and blood in the Eucharist.

This is the gift of the Mass. Bible studies are great, and we should pray with scripture daily. (It’s not my strong suit, either!) But the Church gives us texts in particular ways to broaden our understanding of salvation history and contextualize what we hear. These aren’t huge scholarly leaps, either. The selection of readings helps us to make simple, but incredibly important connections. Most of us are making these connections subconsciously because we’ve heard the same 3-year cycle of readings our entire lives.

I’m the music director, so of course I’m going to say that this is where music comes in. The church gives us a cycle of sung antiphons - short scripture verses - to accompany the readings of the day. We can sing those, as we have during Advent and Lent recently, or select hymns that reflect the antiphons. Today’s communion antiphons are “O Jerusalem, glorify the Lord, who gives you fill of finest wheat” and “The bread that I will give, says the Lord, is my flesh for the life of the world.” The antiphons clearly fit the readings of the day, and they provide continuity to the Mass, helping us to pray on the same concepts given in the Word as we receive Christ in the Eucharist. Singing the words can bring those concepts alive in a deeper way. That’s why it’s so important that we don’t just sing whatever we feel like every weekend. The music plays a specific role in bringing the words of Scripture alive. It’s one more key to the context of salvation history.

In the next few weekends, I’d encourage you to look at those elements, particularly the first reading and the Gospel, to see how they connect. Just like knowing somebody’s past helps you understand their actions now, knowing the Old Testament sheds new light on not only what God’s doing in the New, but how he wants to reveal His plan for the world and love for you.

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Dear friends in Christ,
​
During the month of July this year, the Holy Father asked that the faithful pray for their priests. It also
happens that as we begin this month of August the 4th of August is the Feast of St. John Vianney, the
patron saint of parish priests. There were two questions that came to my mind as I reflected on this
bulletin article: The Greatest Joy being a priest and the Greatest Challenge of being a priest. I am
comforted when I recall one story from the life of St. John Vianney. Every year a small group of
parishioners would ask St. John to say Mass for a special intention. They would not, however, tell him
the intention itself. He happily complied with their request. However, after a few years, he asked them
again the intention for which they requested this annual Mass. Finally one of the parishioners told him:
The intention was for a new pastor! St. John Vianney smiled. This story reminds me that no matter how
holy and zealous one can be in the ministry there is always someone you’ll never make happy. And that
is an important lesson I’ve learned through the years. We must not be distracted by the negative and
the only One we must please is God Himself. The greatest joy of my ministry, it is unquestionably
celebrating the Eucharist. To stand in the person of Christ and to say the words of consecration that
Jesus spoke at the Last Supper, and to give Christ to his people is the greatest joy of my ministry. When I
celebrate Mass I personally experience the truth that the Second Vatican Council fathers taught, that
the Sunday Eucharist is the “source and summit of the Christian life…” The Eucharist continually feeds
me, challenges me, gives me solace and comfort that Jesus has never abandoned us. St. John Vianney
experienced this truth in his priestly ministry. He wrote: "All the good works in the world are not equal
to the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass because they are the works of men; but the Mass is the work of God.
Martyrdom is nothing in comparison for it is but the sacrifice of man to God; but the Mass is the
sacrifice of God for man." Each day when I pray in my chapel before the Blessed Sacrament, I ask the
Lord to give me new vision, courage and deeper faith. I have had through my travels, the opportunity to
visit some countries where people are not free to practice their faith openly. I remember speaking to a
young Catholic couple from Egypt. They had to celebrate Mass in their home in secret every Sunday with
their Catholic friends and family, ministered to by a clandestine priest, because the authorities would
have executed all of them if they were found out. I have seen how deeply important the Eucharist is to
the people who live within a system where religious freedoms is suppressed. Sometimes, I think we take
for granted how fortunate we are to be able to celebrate the Eucharist without fear of being persecuted.
Sometimes, we who live in the "free world" fail to cherish how important the freedoms we have until those freedoms are challenged or taken away. Secondly, is regarding the Greatest Challenge to the
ministry. For me, one of the greatest challenges for the priest is how to inspire faith among a growing
fearful, divisive, and increasingly hostile culture. How do we make the Gospel available to men and
women who are searching for meaning and purpose? I know that only Jesus can satisfy our deepest
desires. How do we invite and propose the Good News in a culture that is so selfish and self-serving,
where apathy abounds and loneliness and alienation seem so evident? How do we do this without
becoming discouraged ourselves? Blessed Pope Paul VI wrote in his pastoral letter, called Evangelization
in the Modern World: “It [discouragement] is all the more serious because it comes from within. It is
manifested in fatigue, disenchantment, compromise, lack of interest and above all lack of joy and
hope. (EN #80)

I know personally, that in the end, I must start with myself. Am I praying? Am I seeking a deeper
relationship with the Lord? Do I see my whole life, my priorities, choices and hopes in the light of Jesus
and His Kingdom? Change must start with me. When I stand at the altar at Mass to say the words of
consecration I always experience a deep moment of peace and oneness with Our Lord. Over these 28
years the Eucharist and my relationship with Jesus has sustained me. I’ve seen many priests leave the
ministry – some of them my own classmates – I’ve known many people who have been deeply affected
the clergy abuse scandal. Some days it seems overwhelming the task before us. But I am filled with hope
and confidence that our Lord will see us through all these challenges. There go I but for the grace of
God. Please pray for your priests and ask the Lord to send more workers into the harvest fields. St. John
Vianney pray for us.

God bless,
Fr. Dennis