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Danielle Thelen

9/19/2017

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On March 19 , 2016, I got engaged to the love of my life, Jason. Like any typical girl who has just gotten
engaged, I was so excited to start planning my wedding. At the time, I did not think much about the
church’s marriage prep program. I knew it was something we had to do and left it at that. When we first
met with Father Dennis after our engagement, we were given an overview of when the different
marriage prep classes were and what we were all expected to complete in order to get married. Jason
and I were also given a couple books at that first meeting, “Holy Sex” and “The 5 Love Languages”. In the
next couple weeks following our meeting I had started reading “The 5 Love Languages”. I enjoyed the
book but over time it seemed like I was so involved in the other details of the wedding that I had
stopped reading it. I had put the church’s marriage prep to the side and was ignoring what marriage was
truly about.

Last summer, Jason and I had our weekend marriage retreat. I will not lie, we were both a little bitter at
first about our whole weekend being taken up with marriage prep when it seemed like we had a million
other things on our list we needed to get done. Before going to the retreat, I wondered why we had to
stay the night. Of course, everyone would rather go home and sleep in their own bed, but I soon realized
that staying the night was all a part of the experience. It allows people to stay in the moment and
continue to focus on what we were there for; our upcoming marriage. After that weekend, we were
both really surprised at how much we enjoyed it. It seemed like for the first time since we had been
engaged, we were able to just focus on us and what our engagement was really about. The whole
retreat had a very laid-back feel and we got to spend time with other engaged couples who were going
through the same things. Throughout the retreat, different couples from the community shared their
stories and talked about different obstacles we will face in marriage. Many of the talks were very eye
opening and brought up topics that Jason and I hadn’t discussed of before. Some of the different topics
included praying together, the purpose of marriage, intimacy, role expectations, love languages, and
conflict resolution. One of the reasons I really enjoyed the talks was because the speakers did not sugar-
coat their marriages. They talked about both the ups and the downs and how they got through them.
After the talks, each couple was given time alone to discuss the things they had just heard. At times, we
also split up between guys and girls, which allowed us to ask our speakers more personal questions,
especially if we didn’t feel comfortable talking in front of the whole group. Both nights after all the talks
were done, we all went to adoration and had a chance to go to confession. The part I liked most about
having adoration at the end of each night was it gave me time to reflect on everything I learned and talk
to God about it. After the retreat was over, I felt God playing a larger role in our relationship. I started to
appreciate Jason more than ever and felt more open talking to him about different aspects of our
relationship.

Overall, Jason and I would both agree that the marriage prep program and retreat were very beneficial
for our marriage. It allowed us to grow even closer in our relationship with each other and with God.
Without that retreat, we may have never taken the time to talk about some of the important topics that
will help make our marriage last. After that weekend, we were both able to step back from the planning
and wedding details and realize what our marriage was really about; getting each other to heaven.

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